Husband came home the night before my birthday and handed me my box. Hooray! Presents! I thought. I open the box....on top is a card and inside the card are pink balloons and directions for Husband and I to blow them up and throw them at each other. Mostly because it was about 1:00 in the morning and our silly selves were already in bed while I was opening my presents, we sadly, did not. On to the good stuff I thought.
The box was filled with small, individually wrapped gifts. Oh joy! The only thing better than getting a present I thought is getting lots of presents.
The box was filled with small, individually wrapped gifts. Oh joy! The only thing better than getting a present I thought is getting lots of presents.
First small package: I open it to discover..... a Venus razor (I kid you not). I look at Husband. Is your mom trying to tell me that I'm hairy?!?! I mean, I'm Italian, okay? I can't help it....
Husband shakes his head. No, honey...that's just....well, that's just Mom.
I'm not sure I believe him but then I remember that this is the same woman who gave us a large laundry basket (it was a nice basket...I still use it) full of toiletries and other household items the Christmas before we got married and is the reason I have not yet had to purchase toothbrushes or toothpaste at the store the entirety of our married lives (which, you know, isn't a really long time or anything....but it's been more than a year already and I suspect I have another 2 years of toothpaste left).
Husband shakes his head. No, honey...that's just....well, that's just Mom.
I'm not sure I believe him but then I remember that this is the same woman who gave us a large laundry basket (it was a nice basket...I still use it) full of toiletries and other household items the Christmas before we got married and is the reason I have not yet had to purchase toothbrushes or toothpaste at the store the entirety of our married lives (which, you know, isn't a really long time or anything....but it's been more than a year already and I suspect I have another 2 years of toothpaste left).
Anyway.... on to the next package. It feels a bit cylindrical. I'm going to laugh if these are toothbrushes I say, remembering the pre-wedding Christmas gift. And I open it. Not just one....but TWO toothbrushes! I was laughing. It was actually pretty funny. I mean, you'd laugh if someone gave you toothbrushes for your birthday wouldn't you?
Hmmmm. What else is in here.....
chocolate
Small Flashlight
Ooooh. Another wrapped box. I open it to discover....
(it's actually a box. This is a picture of the lid. Notice the fancy lace detail.).
Oh! But that's not all! I can hear something inside. Hardly able to contain my excitement, I tear the box open to find JUST what I've always needed:
Hmmmm. Moving on. Let's pick this one. I pick up the small, wrapped bundle. It's kind of soft. Oh no I think. The last time MIL was here, she asked me what size I am. I bet this is.... I stopped. I decided it'd be better just to open it. This is what I saw:
Now. What does this look like to you? Looks like lingerie to me.* So I started snickering. Then it turned into full-on laughing. Priceless! Priceless! Who gets a razor, toothbrushes and lingerie for her birthday from the same person?!? Nobody. Except me. I mean, this is pretty funny.Okay. **deep breath** Breathe in. Breathe out. Come on, Carissa. Time to calm down.
Whew. That was funny. Okay. What else is in here???
shirt
Yellow Vinyl tote bag
Yellow Vinyl tote bag
Hmmm. What's this? This one feels heavy. And then I open it. I'm not sure what to think. I kind of look at it. This can't really be what I think it is. There are not words to explain the mix of befuddlement I feel at this very moment, so I'll just show it to you. Ready?
That's right. The Amazing Hot Heart Massager. Now....let me ask you. What do you think it is? Huh? Huh? I mean, this appears to be no G-rated birthday present.** At this point, I am laughing. I am practically crying. I'm really surprised I did not fall out of my chair.
So in the end, what did my mother-in-law give me for my birthday? The best laugh I have had in a really long time. I got some great gifts for my birthday including some things I've been eyeing for quite some time. But none of them made me laugh the way this box from my mother-in-law made me laugh.
*We later discovered that this was not lingerie, but a pajama set that included a cami (pictured above) and embroided capri pants.
** We later discovered that it does not vibrate. It heats up and has essential oil inside. So I guess in the end it is G-rated. But it was pretty funny when I looked at it the first time
That's right. The Amazing Hot Heart Massager. Now....let me ask you. What do you think it is? Huh? Huh? I mean, this appears to be no G-rated birthday present.** At this point, I am laughing. I am practically crying. I'm really surprised I did not fall out of my chair.
So in the end, what did my mother-in-law give me for my birthday? The best laugh I have had in a really long time. I got some great gifts for my birthday including some things I've been eyeing for quite some time. But none of them made me laugh the way this box from my mother-in-law made me laugh.
*We later discovered that this was not lingerie, but a pajama set that included a cami (pictured above) and embroided capri pants.
** We later discovered that it does not vibrate. It heats up and has essential oil inside. So I guess in the end it is G-rated. But it was pretty funny when I looked at it the first time
Holy Crap! is this my competition? I mean, I don't think I can create such a creative and well, odd mix of goodies. I have to say, I think the 'Grow a Guardian Angel' is my favorite although the heart was pretty trippy. Thank you for sharing that. . . I had a really good laugh and it felt great.
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THAT IS AWESOME!!!! And yes, I thought that "Amaxing Hot Heart Massager" was a vibrator too. lol
ReplyDeleteMaybe the toothbrushes were to remind you to brush your teeth after the chocolate? Hilarious.
Hee hee.
ReplyDeleteWow. That heart....
your MIL birthday presents made ME laugh so i hard i was almost crying! how funny! those gifts make me think about some of my MIL gifts of birthdays and christmases past. good times with family!
ReplyDeleteI love how she gave you a few chocolates in a little baggie. As opposed to, say, the whole bag of candy! My mom usually gives me the inapropriate r-rated gifts. I can't see ever doing that to my children- too embarrassing.
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